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Kathryn Zurmehly's avatar

This is very funny because in one of my books the heroine, as she's about to do something dangerous, stupid, and necessary, lays one on the hero without asking, then rides off to what she's pretty sure is certain doom. It's very human (she is an elf, this is not the point) really, nerves and opportunity and fear and all those other emotions we feel about people and situations.

That's what romance is about, in real life and in stories. Yeah, people have to play a guessing game and both sides are essentially sending signals in semaphore, which can be hard and can go badly wrong, but it's always been that way and, no matter what rules you put in place, it's always going to be that way. In this realm, at least there is neither RETVRN (I've read Catullus!) or "progress"- there's just people. More than with any other aspect, I think a lack of verisimilitude in the romance can break a story. Either don't include it or stop trying to push an agenda with it and write how people actually are.

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Codex redux's avatar

A curious thing is that in modern stories, in order to avoid breaking the Narrativist taboos about Male Oppression and Stronk Women, they have the heroine grab the hero and kiss him first. From that point on, he can initiate a kiss or a hug (or more) but not until.

Not so consensual.

Which I mention, because the Consent requirement might be the frilly cover-up that tries to put a friendly, or at least plausibly virtuous, face on the ugly demand to erase the sexes in stories most concerned with the reality of their nature.

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